Soup and the Silent One
by The Bartender and Apple
Summary: Two people, complete opposites, are taking a journey together. Not by choice, of course. See notice thingy inside. [Pokémon]


Notice: This has the setting of the game, but none of the main characters. I mean, the gym leaders are there, but this isn't about Ash or Misty or whatever. Sorry!

2 things:

1. A middle-aged Japanese man owns Pokémon. Neither the Bartender nor I are middle-aged Japanese men. Therefore, we do not own Pokémon.

2. Um… cussing, dirty jokes, etc. Hey, we're all mature here, right? **Right**?

And, action:-D

The sun was setting. I could see that Damaru was getting impatient. I guess I can understand, though. We'd been waiting ALL FRICKING DAY LONG. However! I was smart (as usual) and brought a comic book to read.

Anyways, we were sitting there with relatively nothing to do because Professor Willow, the head of the local Pokémon lab, was supposed to be giving me and Damaru our starting Pokémon today. Yeah! But first, she had to go and get some samples or something, 'cuz she has no assistants.

"Miso," Damaru said, trying in vain to get my attention. Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce myself. My name's Miso. I'm fifteen years old, and my hobbies include video games, eating, hot guys, cute Pokémon, comic books, and making friends with almost everybody. The key word here is almost; I'm not friends with Damaru. But that's a different story.

"Miso." I ignored him. "Miso. Miso!"

"What the hell do you want?" I snapped.

"We've been waiting all day."

"Wow, you just now noticed that?"

Damaru ignored my comment and said, "Maybe we should go home."

I said, "Listen, Damaru. You can do what you want, but I'm going to wait here. I want my Pokémon."

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about Damaru, didn't I? Oopsies. Let's see… he's seventeen, tall, and… uh… he reads thick novels. A lot of them. He's quiet, and only talks when there's something annoying him or when… well, that's the only time he talks, really.

"Fine then," he said. "You can wait here by yourself. It's getting close to sunset, and you'll be all alone in the dark." He got up and started to walk away.

Now, I'm stubborn, but I'm not stupid. And the phrase "all alone in the dark" was starting to freak me out. Even if it was just Damaru, I didn't want to be by myself… in the dark… outside…

"Eeee! Wait up, butthe- I mean, Damaru!"

He paused. "Well, hurry up, I haven't got all day, y'know."

'No duh,' I thought. 'It's almost evening.'

"Fine," I said. I walked up to him. "Well?"

Damaru nodded. "Right. I'll walk you home.

Damaru can be an ass at times, but other times, he's an okay guy. Like this time. Who would've known?

We had walked up to the gate when something… odd was heard. It sounded like a Houndour on a hot summer day. "What's that?" I asked.

"Dunno. Let's find out, shall we?" Damaru replied. What a lunatic. For all we knew, it could've been a… a… wild, miso-eating clam! (1)

Sometimes I scare myself.

Anyways, back to the plot. Peering around the gate revealed a certain Professor Willow catching her breath.

"Willow! There you are!" I screamed. "We've been waiting all frickin' day for you to get back to the frickin' lab!"

Oh yeah. Time to introduce Willow. She's the Pokémon professor here on Wasabi Island (2). Oh, I already told you that, huh? She's also my cousin. Let's see… She's pretty tall, and she's… um, "well endowed," you know what I mean? She's also pretty athletic, you know, always running and doing yoga and all that crap. Tie that together with the fact that she's a genius, and… man, why didn't I get her genes?

I'm sorry. I'm getting away from the story. Again.

Okay, so I yelled at her, ranting about a day wasted and being stuck outside with Mr. "Nice Guy" and blah blah this and blah blah that, and… Well, I was really staring at her shirt. I didn't recognize it as hers. I mean, I don't exactly think she owns a red tropical-print shirt as loud as that.

When I was done, Damaru asked Willow, "Where'd you get the shirt?"

Willow blushed and stuttered, "W-Well, y'see… I-I- Well, you know how I went to Honey Island today to get those samples, and… uh… I, uh, kinda… went swimming 'cause some of the samples were in the ocean! Y-Yeah. And then, when I realized that it was getting dark, I-I, uh, had to get ready quickly! So yeah, that's what happened." She stopped and took a breath. She'd been waving her arms around like some crazy _gaijin_. (3)

Damaru and I both blinked. Damaru said, "That doesn't explain where you got that shirt from."

Willow paled a bit, which is quite odd for her. "Uh, well, there was a guy there who was nice enough to give me a spare shirt of his."

"A guy?" I asked.

"Yeah. His name was Genki, and-"

Now it was Damaru's turn to go pale.

"D-Did you just say Genki?" he asked in a squeaky voice.

Willow looked kinda like she was suspecting something. "Yeah, I did." She squinted her eyes at him. "Why?"

Damaru turned to me and said, "Lemme use your Pokégear for a moment."

"Um, okay," I said. I didn't exactly know what this had to do with my Pokégear, but I took it from around my neck and handed it to him anyway. He furiously pressed some buttons, then held it to his ear. Apparently, he was making a phone call.

After some seconds passed, Damaru said in a soft, sweet-as-honey voice, "Hey big bro, how's it hangin'?" His voice quickly changed to an angry tone. "Apparently not much." (4) He then yelled into the phone, "Listen, Genki, I don't give a Rattata's ass how hot she is, I just wanna know why you screwed Willow!"

Everything and everyone was dead silent, even me, the local loudmouth. I kept looking from the close-to-crying Willow to Damaru, who, if he was a volcano, had just erupted. I mean, personally, I didn't know what to think. We all knew that Willow, erm, liked to "flaunt her body," what with those skimpy bathing suits and all, but who would've guessed she'd go that far?

The silence was broken by Damaru, saying in a happy, jolly, just plain ole dandy voice, "Listen, Genki. It was nice talking to you. I'll talk to you again real soon." His voice quickly changed into a growl. "Got it?" A high pitched squeak was heard from the other end of the phone. Damaru turned the phone part off and handed me the Pokégear. "Thank you for letting me use your Pokégear," he said.

I smiled. "Anytime, Damaru. Anytime." I hung it back around my neck, and turned to Willow. I said, "Sunset or not, let's go in the lab and get our Pokémon! We've been waiting all day."

Willow was a ghostly pale color as she led Damaru and me into the lab. We paused in the entrance to take off our shoes, me and Damaru leaving our shoes behind and Willow taking off her sandals to put on some slippers. Turning to face us, she said, "Follow me." She drifted off through a hallway, around a corner, and into a room.

The room was large, with a high ceiling and a big, open area in the middle. There was random lab equipment scattered around the edges of the room, but the most notable piece of equipment in the room wasn't a lab machine at all. It was, in fact, a table with two Pokéballs on it. Willow drifted over to it, and said, still in the same freaky voice, "There are two Pokéballs here." She pointed to the one on the left. "This one has a Pikachu." She pointed to the one on the right. "This one has a Vulpix." She turned to face us, looking like some Goth freak with her pale face and long, black hair. The only things missing were chains and too much eyeliner. "Choose carefully," she said.

Damaru and I looked at each other and nodded. I stepped over to the Pokéball on the left, and Damaru stepped over to the Pokéball on the right. I picked up the ball and quickly ran to a corner of the room, where I released my new Pikachu.

"… Pika?"

I squealed with happiness, and picked up my Pikachu, giving it a big hug.

"Pika!" I crouched and set it down, and Pika (my new nickname for Pikachu) started examining me. It pulled on a lock of my hair, poked my nose, and sniffed my shirt. It nodded and rubbed its chin. "Pika!" It put its face close to mine, staring deep into my eyes.

I couldn't help it. "Boo," I said. Pika backed off, looking kinda freaked out.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I couldn't help it." I sat down cross-legged on the floor, facing the wall. Pika crawled into my lap.

"Pika," it said, sounding satisfied.

"Hey, Pika," I said. "Are you a boy?"

"Pika! Pikapika!" it yelled, looking happy.

"So, you're a boy?" I asked it. Pika nodded. "Okay. Well then, guess what?" I asked him.

"Pika?"

"You're the best boyfriend a girl could ever have!"

"Pika!" Pika jumped up and hugged me. I, being the loving Trainer that I am, hugged him back.

"Aww, well isn't that cute?" said a voice from behind me. Damaru's voice. I hugged Pika closer to me. "But you know what isn't cute?" he asked.

"What?" I hissed, still keeping Pika close.

"Your thong hanging out of your shorts."

He'd said the wrong thing to me. He'd said one of the worst things that he could say to me. Before I knew it, I'd stood up and slapped him, holding Pika with my right arm. I was yelling in his face about why the hell was he staring at my ass and who the hell did he think he was, and--

"Kya! Your Vulpix is sooo cute!" I squealed. Damaru sweatdropped. I couldn't help it; I absolutely adore cute Pokémon!

"Oh yeah?" he asked. "Well, I bet Vulpix is stronger than Pikachu!"

He was pissing me off majorly. "Humph. Pika is the best! Right, Pika?" I looked down at him.

He puffed his chest proudly. "Pika!"

I looked back up at Damaru. "Well, then, I guess this means a battle?"

Willow drifted over, still pale and ghostly-sounding. "Please step over there, Damaru," she said, pointing to one end of the big open space. "Miso, please step over there," pointing to the other end of the space. Holding Pika in both arms, I walked over to where Willow had pointed.

Willow drifted/floated to the middle of the floor where Damaru and I would be battling. She said, "Begin." She quickly moved over to the sidelines.

I carefully set Pikachu down and said to him, "Okay, Pika. I need you to use a Thundershock on Vulpix over there," I told him.

Pika looked up at me with big, shiny eyes and nodded. He waddled forward and yelled, "Pikaaa!" and sending a large bolt of electricity in Vulpix's direction.

But across the room…

"Vulpix, use Ember!" Damaru shouted.

Now, I'd seen what happens when two powerful attacks hit each other. It was on a TV show. I think it was called "Peeps in Battles" or some lameass thing like that.

Anyways, when the two attacks hit, there was an explosion. I can't remember exactly what the two attacks where, but I do remember that one was an Electric-type attack and the other was a Fire-type attack. Kinda like Pika's Thundershock and Vulpix's Ember. In fact, a lot like Pika's Thundershock and Vulpix's Ember.

I don't remember much, but I remember it seemed to all go in slow motion: the attacks hitting, Willow screaming, the explosion, Pika being blown back into my arms.

Right before I blacked out, I heard Damaru say from across the room, "Oh shit."

Notes:

1: Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Okay, so it's not really that funny…

2: Wasabi Island is the island that they live on, a peaceful abode with a nice forest and a large port where many fishing boats and cruise ships dock. There's another island nearby, called Honey Island, which is like… a tropical 1920's era Chicago. Except they don't have pizza, and the air is somewhat cleaner.

3: G_aijin_ is Japanese for foreigner.

4: Don't you just _lurve_ dirty jokes?

Apple's notes or whatever:

Hi. My name is Apple. I like cheese. I also like soda. Nothing new there, though.

Anyway, I just wanted to make a couple of… comments.

You'll notice that this doesn't have the best grammar in the world. I did that on purpose, 'cuz I'm sure you'll notice that Miso isn't exactly the sharpest crayon in the box, or however that saying goes.

So yeah.

/endnotes


End file.
